Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
