Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
