first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
