hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
