That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
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these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
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I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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