My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
