That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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