he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
