I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
