Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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