You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
