There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
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She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
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This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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