Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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