just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
