Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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