Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
