I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
