No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
