I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
