32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
