Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
