What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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