Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
