just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
