I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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