he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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