I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
