he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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