The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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