went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
