I only kidnapped one of them. chill
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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