NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that