I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.