I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.