I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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