But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
