It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
