We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
