Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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