You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
