wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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