Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
