ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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