I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
