rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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