Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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