Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
