I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize