he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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