honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
