we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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