i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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