So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
