so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
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6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
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Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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