she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
