I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
