John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
