you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize