high people should be assigned attendants
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
