i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
