Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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