There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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