We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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