ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
