so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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