I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i out mim tonsoeep
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