So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
